Orgasmic Dirty Talk Read online

  Orgasmic Dirty Talk:

  How to Talk Dirty & Supercharge Her Orgasms

  Copyright © 2012 by Sean Bapier

  Cover Art by Sean Bapier

  All rights reserved.

  With the exception of brief quotes used for critical reviews and articles, no part of this book may be used or reproduced without the written permission of the author, Sean Bapier. He can be contacted at SeanBapier{at}gmail{dot}com

  WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be scanned, uploaded, or distributed via internet or other means, electronic or print without the author’s permission. Criminal copyright infringement without monetary gain is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. Please purchase only authorized electronic or print edition and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted material.

  By purchasing this book, you agree to the following: You understand that the information contained in this book is an opinion, and it should be used for personal entertainment purposes only. You are responsible for your own behavior, and none of this book is to be considered legal or personal advice. The information in this book is provided for personal entertainment purposes only. You remain 100% responsible for your actions at all times. Please use this information wisely, with caution and always with total respect for women.

  Table of Contents

  INTRODUCTION

  Why Bother with Talking Dirty?

  BASICS

  Becoming Comfortable with Dirty Talk

  4 Principles for Effective Dirty Talk

  5 Common Questions Beginners Ask About Dirty Talk

  The DOs and DON’Ts of Dirty Talk

  Ways to Introduce Dirty Talk

  Calibration

  Getting Her To Talk Dirty

  Using Role-play to Ease Into Dirtier Language

  Improve Your Voice

  Improve Your Vocabulary

  The Flavors of Dirty Talk

  Dirty Talk: A Philosophical Inquiry

  How to Say Your Dirtiness

  BASICS APPLICATION

  5 Levels of Dirty Talk

  Types of Dirty Talk Language Structures

  BEYOND THE BASICS

  Interesting Applications of Dirty Talk

  Dirty Messaging

  Increase Her Sexual Responsiveness

  The Magic of Responsiveness Skeletons

  CONCLUSION

  LIST OF MANLY RESOURCES

  INTRODUCTION

  Dirty talk, along with full body massages and cunnilingus, ranks highly as a female aphrodisiac. A deft tongue properly delivering descriptive lines of eroticism can have a woman gushing with lust. There is a stark difference among men and women when it comes to talking dirty. Women’s bodies and minds become flush with torridness. While men enjoy a modest bump in arousal listening to a woman moan and talk dirty. What fingers are to the body, dirty talk is to the mind.

  Her whole body throbs in lustful alacrity when you describe the sexual tension of the moment and what you are doing to her (or will do) in vivid detail. Seeing a woman respond to you in that manner is its own reward.

  The very act of talking dirty changes the way she feels and experiences sex in her mind. You can verbally lead her to heights of pleasure she had no idea existed. The art of aural sex. Dirty talk is about how you say what you say, why you’re saying it, and your tone of voice. When those three sing in harmony…

  Dirty talking has nearly limitless possibilities.

  The Sexual Dichotomy of Women

  The sad reality is that many men are uncomfortable using dirty talk and one reason is because they fail to realize a dichotomy that all women possess.

  A lot of women have a pure side, and a dirty side. “Good girl” and “Bad girl” if you will. Both are fun to express and play with, during sex. Women don’t often get to play both with one man, unless he is aware of this dichotomy propagated by society. A lot of women are afraid to initiate sex due to the negative labels associated with female-initiated sexual encounters. In short, this means that she’s waiting for you to lead. She will never allow herself to be wilder than you, so you must be sexually assertive.

  You want to treat her with respect? Then have respect for the fact that she is highly sexual and wants mind-blowing sex with you. When alone with you, she wants to be dirty. Dirtier than you can imagine, but only with a man she trusts and feels safe around.

  You must also demonstrate that you respect her as a person inside and outside of this sexual reality you create together. Always be a gentleman and treat her like a lady in the presence of others and while in public. After all, a gentleman is but a patient wolf.

  Why Bother with Talking Dirty?

  One of the strongest cases for using dirty talk is that if you don’t use it, her mind will wander. A wandering mind leads to the death of her pleasure and ultimately, her orgasm(s). Her wandering mind could sabotage her orgasm. You must lead her mind with your voice.

  Here are two simple premises that exceptionally answer the “why bother” question.

  Premise #1

  Sex is mostly mental for women; physical stimulation takes a back seat to mental stimulation. Orgasm and pleasure, as well as the perception of the two, originate in the mind. Pleasure is mental. Orgasms are mental. Thus, you can give her an orgasm simply by talking to her and nothing else. You may not believe that now, but you will after you successfully apply the techniques in this book and its sequel.

  Premise #2

  The more aroused a woman is, the greater her potential for more pleasure as well as more powerful and even multiple orgasms. Dirty talk is one of THE best tools you have for mentally arousing a woman. It infuses sex with more tension by building anticipation, getting her to focus on sensations and pleasure and it also adds a hint of taboo. All those things are key ingredients for giving her ineffable, mind-blowing orgasms.

  If those two premises are not sufficient to convince you then consider the following reasons:

   In order for her to have an orgasm, she must let go of thinking and focus on how/what she is feeling. Talking dirty to her keeps her mind focused...it allows you to captivate and lead her mind with your voice and words. It also allows her to just experience pure uninterrupted sexual bliss and leave the leading and thinking up to you. Dirty talk is essentially “keep her in the present moment and intensify her experience” talk.

   It communicates your expectations and directs her mind to elicit powerful responses to you.

  o E.g. “You feel your clit throb when I touch your nipples, don’t you?”

   If she follows your lead and is sexually responsive to you, she will feel it or will invent (orgasmic alchemy at its finest) the sensation to allow herself to remain entranced by your sexual power.

   It can be used to magnify and awaken her pleasure by focusing her attention to her sensations and emotions (increases her sensual focus ability)

  o “That feels even better” as you caress the inside of her thigh. You tell her what to feel, and she feels it. Period. That’s the power of sexually assertive dirty talk.

  o “That pleasure pulsates through your moistness even more, doesn’t it?” as you caress her outer labia

  o “Your clit is aching for me to touch it”  “How badly does your clit need to be touched? Tell me, say baby please touch my clit” Her: *blissfully responds*

   It sustains her arousal if you are running out of stamina and need a quick break

   Finally, dirty talk fulfills a woman’s need to feel uniquely appreciated, sexy, and feminine. We all enjoy praise and appreciation, especially women. Well, why would praise and appreciation dur
ing sex be any different? Heterosexual women crave to hear those sorts of things…from a powerful man.

  Cliché Caveat: As with everything sexual: all women are different. A lot of women can orgasm from dirty talk alone; it’s that powerful for them. For others, it is an unwelcomed distraction from the experience she’s having with you and craves nonverbal communication instead.

  BASICS

  “Oh his way with those words, I want seconds and thirds” – Cee Lo Green

  Becoming Comfortable with Dirty Talk

  Lots of men feel uncomfortable talking dirty because they think it will offend women. Lots of men are also uncomfortable with being in control. Understand that things you say are interpreted and perceived differently during a sexual context. Things that would offend her “outside of sex” can cause her panties to stick to the wall if said within a sexual context.

  You may have tried out dirty talk once or twice and it felt uncomfortable. Maybe hearing it out loud sounded awkward to you. Get over it. Quickly. For her sake and yours. Your words sound forced due your biased perception of them. It won’t sound weird to her at all if you say it with confidence. Think about it, why would someone who’s “on your side” want you to feel foolish when you compliment them or express yourself? Let go of the silly beliefs you have about dirty talk and give it a try.

  If it only sounds weird to you then pick a few phrases and practice saying them aloud when you are alone. Or, dig around on amazon to find some best-selling erotica written by women and practice reading the erotica aloud.

  That discomfort you feel, is the result of cognitive dissonance, which occurs due to your current (shitty) sexual beliefs. Your current sexual beliefs are shaping your sex life and everything about it. Figure out what those beliefs are and challenge them.

  A lot of things worth accomplishing are uncomfortable the first few times you do them though. If dirty talk is outside your comfort zone (and I’m betting it is) then it is going to feel “clunky” at first. I encourage you to keep practicing it. And remember, you don’t have to talk dirty the entire session or every single time you have sex.

  4 Principles for Effective Dirty Talk

  First Principle: Say it With Absolute Conviction

  A confident man can get away with nearly anything in the eyes of a woman. Remember that when it comes time to talk dirty. If you feel silly or afraid, don’t let it show. Better still is to work on acquiring empowering sexual beliefs so you don’t have to hide anything. Empowering sexual beliefs = sexual confidence = you dirty talk will be deliciously lethal to her. Say it and mean it. Lead the sexual dance!

  It’s simple: saying it with full confidence is what gives your words their inherent sexiness in the first place.

  You will repeatedly see me say: you MUST lead her mind. You MUST direct her attention (with your voice) to what’s happening inside her mind and body. When you do that with confidence, she focuses on the sensations and they become amplified.

  Second Principle: Feel It In Your Marrow

  Focus on how much you enjoy her and her body. Focus on how your body feels when she touches you and how aroused you get when she pleasures you. Let the foundations of your words be genuine FEELING. Feel your words as you say them to the fullest extent you can. Words packed with congruent emotions behind them come across as much more powerful.

  Third Principle: She’s on Your Team

  She’s your girl (possibly for one night only). She is on your team. Why would a good woman want to make you feel foolish? No (mentally healthy) woman is actively seeking to ridicule you during sex or otherwise. She wants to connect deeper with you, and dirty talk is superb for that. It makes her feel special, connected to you, and appreciated by you. Re-read that and keep it in mind as you expand your sexual repertoire with dirty dialogue. You’re both on the same side.

  Fourth Principle: Begin Slow & Calibrate

  Starting slow when it comes to things of a sexual nature is rarely bad advice. Dirty talk is no different. Start slow and let the sexual tension build and then introduce dirty talk to her by starting with just sensual descriptions that get progressively dirtier as her arousal increases.

  If you are uncomfortable because you haven’t ever said much during sex and don’t want to dive into sexual monologues right away then I suggest you begin by making noises.

  Just making sounds is the perfect starting point for gradually easing into talking dirty if you have never played around with it before. It won’t be as much of a shock to her if you started making sounds before you started talking to her during sex. Sometimes you can leverage the shock to your benefit however. Cold turkey sexual experiments have been the sexual spice that’s saved many relationships.

  Moans, grunts, and groans let her know you are enjoying her. Sounds convey your praise of her efforts and that will make her want to please you even more by adding more effort. Everybody enjoys enthusiastic women, so start using more sounds to reward her efforts and ease yourself into dirty talk.

  Once you are comfortable making sounds, you can progress to simply referring to what’s going on with your genitals and hers [hard, wet, swollen, throbbing, pulsing, moist etc.] before advancing to actually using the “dirty words” [cock, dick, pussy, cunt etc.]. I hope you aren’t that sexually repressed however… but just in case, doing the above works no matter where you are in your dirty talking mastery.

  5 Common Questions Beginners Ask About Dirty Talk

  1] What If I feel Uncomfortable During Dirty Talk?

  Riding a bike once felt weird didn’t it? But with practice, you got better at it. Feeling comfortable using dirty talk is no different than any other skill, it requires that you practice and learn from your errors. Reassure yourself and your lady that you both won’t judge each other for what comes out of your mouths.

  Dirty talk usually only sounds silly to her if she doesn’t respect you sexually and/or she has limiting beliefs about sex. Once more: You must be sexually confident and do it with absolute conviction…only then will she take you serious and respond powerfully. If she responds powerfully to you and your voice/words, then you know for sure that she respects you.

  You being comfortable with dirty talk boils down to your beliefs about sex. Beliefs shape how you perceive reality. Societal and cultural programming has affected nearly everyone’s perception of what sex is or is not. Society and culture have their purpose, but the reality of the situation is that we are all sexual beings. Especially women.

  Decide for yourself what sex means instead of letting society, culture, and your upbringing make that decision.

  If you can’t talk about sex with your lady…trust me, you won’t be having it in any meaningful quantity soon. The infrequent moans, grunts, or groan you make aren’t helping your case either.

  Being “good” at dirty talk can be distilled into two essential points, if:

  1] You enjoy sex without shame or guilt and do not label it as wrong or bad

  2] You are confident and congruent in your actions and words

  Then she will love you talking dirty to her. Say what you feel without concerning yourself about what YOU THINK she’s thinking. Let her think for herself. Tend to your own thoughts, do not speculate about hers.

  She wants exciting sex, of which dirty talk is a crucial ingredient.

  2] What If I Sound Silly To Her?

  If your dirty talk is sounding silly to her, then it’s possible that you are not commanding respect from her OR she’s not deeply immersed into sexual trance. Women often go into a “sexual trance” when they are being kissed and caressed in ways their bodies instinctively prefer. If you increase her arousal via kissing, touching, etc. then she will experience a deeper sexual immersion. It is the sexual state where the power of dirty talk is amplified.

  If she’s not respecting you sexually, that’s a whole ‘nother book my man. If you aren’t tired of me saying it already…it’s your crappy sexual beliefs causing nearly all of your problems about sex.

 
Note: She will relate to everything you are saying if your intentions are to focus on her pleasure.

  If your focus is on how hot she is, how aroused she makes you, how you can’t wait to be inside of her…she will feel this because it is directed at her and subsequently makes her feel desired and special to you. If you’re focus is on cumming on her tits, how you are going to destroy her pussy, how you can’t wait to cum, etc. then it’s harder for her to relate to that because you could be talking about any girl, not only her.

  In other words, if you were having sex and she whispered “I love cock” into your ear versus “I love YOUR cock,” which one would you prefer? Make her the focus of your dirty talk and sexual fireworks are bound to happen.

  3] Will Dirty Talk Offend Her?

  Many men feel uncomfortable about talking dirty in the bedroom thinking that she will take it the wrong way and end up offended and insulted. During sex, words and actions are interpreted in a different context however. As sexual arousal increases, the context changes and dirty talk is interpreted differently and she will not be offended. It will actually increase her excitement. Why? My speculation is that her beliefs and desires about sex are being confirmed in a positive manner by a man she places sexual value on.