Orgasmic Dirty Talk Read online

  Dirty talk allows her to stay focused on the moment and the sensations she feels. A lot of women tend to have wandering minds during sex; especially if the sex is horrible and doesn’t engage their emotions strongly.

  Your voice is a beacon that calls her back to this moment and what she’s feeling.

  Once again, a woman’s sexuality is mostly mental and dirty talking is an excellent way to enhance psychological stimulation during sex. I want you to burn that into your mind: A woman’s sexuality is mostly mental.

  But you must be dominant and do it with absolute conviction.

  NOTE: When I say dominant, I mean sexually assertive. Everything within this eBook is for sexually consenting adults. The fact that I even needed to point that out is absurd. If you have a problem with the word dominance, replace it with “sexual assertion.”

  Be the way, if you need me to tell you to respect women and that talking dirty should be fun and pleasurable for her…then your critical thinking skills need improvement.

  Respecting women includes respecting her cravings and desires to be taken and ravished with wild passion. She wants to feel, touch, and fuck a MAN!

  This is a guide for MEN, not boys. Leave your petty inhibitions and judgments at the door. You can pick ‘em up later if need be. Before discounting what I have to say, apply it for a month first and develop your own opinion.

  Keep in mind that in order for dirty talk to work, you must have unwavering belief in yourself...absolute conviction in your words. Confidence. Balls. If it’s not working for you…ask her how the bad boys in her past used to fuck and talk to her during sex, and then imitate them without spewing abuse at her and calling it “dirty talk.”

  All of her best sexual memories contain STRONG EMOTION. That’s what dirty talk is good at creating. “Bad boys” are great at creating strong emotion in women. She’s had a few in her life and I guarantee she remembers the sex. If you’re not the “bad boy” in her life…buckle up and become one!

  Your dominance allows her to let go and fully experience her sexuality. Your dominance is permitted due to consensual sexual power exchange. She gets to be “out of control” if you are in control. This frees her from having to initiate anything. She gets to be slutty, without being a slut.

  If she doesn’t like something you are doing or feels pain or discomfort, she will let you know. Tell her to let you know.

  4] Isn’t Dirty Talk Just A Stream Of Obscenities?

  For the undeveloped mind, yes. What is dirty talk then? My definition is any verbal communication you make that is explicitly designed to arouse your lady. I prefer to frame dirty talk as the ability to lead her mind with your words and voice. Talking dirty is mainly about your intention underneath your words and not the actual words.

  Dirty talk is NEVER about demeaning, degrading, or verbally abusing a woman. Dirty talk is a vehicle for communicating vibe. True dirty talk is about utilizing the voice as a tool for heightening and magnifying pleasure – and as you will discover, intensifying her orgasms.

  5] What If I Run Out Of Things To Say?

  Dirty talk can be as simple as describing what you are doing to her in vivid detail. You can also tell her what she is feeling as you perform certain actions on her. Those two things make a great foundation as well as “break in case of emergency” situations.

  There are only so many “dirty” words right? Use synonyms and/or repeat yourself. Repetition is good. If you are fucking her right, the last thing on her mind is tallying your phrase usage.

  Intercourse is repetitious. The final moments before orgasm are repetitious. In and out. Back and forth. Repetition works. Repetitious dirty talk works. Just change up and rehash something you already said when you can’t think of something. Or stop talking; remember that you don’t have to meet some dirty talking quota nor are you requiring to talk the entire time you are having sex. Your repetitious words and phrases are rarely heard the same way twice.

  If she’s overly concerned about your repetitive dirty talk during or after sex she’s not immersed into the experience and most likely not enjoying it. Nobody wants blissful pleasure just once and dirty talk done correctly is just that.

  The DOs and DON’Ts of Dirty Talk

  DON’T talk about your pleasure in sex more than hers. Keep the majority (~80%) of your dirty talk on what she is feeling. Talking about your own pleasure too much can distract her from her own pleasure and inadvertently delays her from having a powerful orgasm.

  DON’T call her any name or say anything that she despises or otherwise she will come out of “sexual trance.”

  DO start with small amounts of dirty talk and build it up. If you bring out your entire arsenal early on, you will exhaust your supply of dirtiness and just rehash. The idea is to peak her interest and have her hunger for more. Give her small tastes of what is possible and to demonstrate you are comfortable sexually asserting yourself.

  DO speak clearly. You don’t want her asking “Huh what did you say?” or having to guess at your words. It is a mood killer. Whisper clearly if you are whispering. Not speaking clearly will snap her out of sexual trance when you want her to go deeper and deeper into it.

  DON’T use only dirty talk when you are in a relationship. She will start to negatively respond to you rather than become more aroused by it. Mix things up with emotional/sensual talk every now and then.

  DON’T mention your own pleasure when you first begin dirty talk. You want to condition her to focus on her own pleasure and talking about how you are feeling can distract her from it. Once she has had an orgasm (for that session) you can mention your own sensations and her pleasing you. If you notice her arousal building toward orgasm, then turn the dirty talk’s focus back to her and her sensations. You are doing this because you want to condition her to have orgasms that are powerful and come easily to her. Once she gets well-conditioned and focusing on her pleasure is easier for her, you can talk about your pleasure and sensations with much less restraint and in such a way (via vocal inflection and intensity) that amplifies her pleasure also. The best time to mention how she is making you feel is just before and during your orgasm…it may cause her to go into orgasm with you! I have accidently conditioned women to have an orgasm with me, just based on how I’m breathing and the sounds I make near/during my own orgasm.

  DO remember that the purpose of dirty talk is to arouse your woman with dominance, not to degrade her.

  DO remember that the more immersed (deeper in sexual trance) she is in sex, the more extreme your dirty talk can be.

  DON’T ask her questions like “Do you like this?” “Was it good for you?” if your intention (and the question itself) is not an assertive or commanding one. Otherwise it conveys weakness and is a turn-off to her. If you are secure in your sexuality, you won’t need to ask. Other than asking questions from a place of surety like: “You like when I stroke that tight pussy, don’t you?” DON’T ASK IF YOU ARE PLEASING HER. Another thing, when sex is over, relax into the silence. Don’t fall for the urge to fill it. Let her fill it.

  DON’T use words like penis, vagina, kitty, willy, boobs, pecker, etc. If Austin Powers or your doctor would say it, DON’T USE IT. Stick to pussy, dick, tits, cock, etc.

  NEVER force your dirty talk, let it flow from you naturally like juice from a hot pussy.

  DO say what SHE wants to hear, not what YOU want to hear. Your dirty talk is for her, not you.

  Ways to Introduce Dirty Talk

  1] Tell Her What You Want

  Simple, right? There is a strange beauty within simplicity. Voice your desires. What would seeing her do make you harder than a diamond in an ice storm? Fingering her pussy and asshole at the same time? You want to come on her face? Do you want her to spread her ass cheeks while you fuck her from behind? She would LOVE for you to just TELL her what to do.

  TELL her what to do, DON’T ASK her. That is a very important distinction. Tell her what to do in a calm and assertive tone. Even if she doesn’t want to, she�
��ll be turned on by the fact that you were confident enough to tell her your desires. She’ll be turned on by your directness, and lack of shame about your sexuality. Telling her what you want is a sign of your dominance. It conveys decisiveness and congruence, as well as the fact that you know what you want.

  Whether she complies or not, the sexual tension and excitement will be ramped up. Telling her what to do is a great place to start if you are wondering where to start with talking dirty in bed.

  2] Whispering In Her Ear

  Use close proximity to whisper how wonderful it feels to be inside her. Whispering is a step up from just making sounds and doesn’t feel as bold of a move. Ask her how good she feels when you are thrusting into her.

  Granted, if you met her in a bar two hours ago, whispering sweet nothings will be perceived by her as inauthenticity on your part. But, if you are in a relationship or have deep rapport with a woman, she will melt if your sweet whispers are done well. See the example below for gathering ideas of what to say.

  Your tone of voice is very important if you plan on improvising while you whisper softly in her ear. If you dial-in your voice tone, you can recite your grocery list and she will cream herself. Instead of the grocery list though, describe in vivid detail how she smells, how her pussy feels, or how she makes you feel.

  3] Reading Erotica to Her

  Starting with someone else’s words can feel safer than trying to create your own. Pick something from below and read it aloud to her to see how she responds. If she shows preference for a particular story, make a mental bookmark to incorporate a role-play or narrate a dirty version of it in the near future.

  Try: Delta of Venus, The Erotic Edge, Sweet Confessions: Erotic Fantasies for Couples, anything by Rachel Kramer Bussel or Cherise Sinclair

  No, I haven’t read any of the above, but I did ask some female friends.

  4] Compliments and Praising Her Body

  Tell her your favorite body parts, why you love them, and/or how they make you feel as you kiss or caress them. Tell her you love how she smells and what her sweet scent reminds you of. Pay attention to her reactions.

  Compliments can serve as an old stand-by when things get stale because they are always effective due to being specifically tailored to her. Direct compliments delivered via dirty talk let her know that she is sexy as hell, beautiful, and appreciated by you.

  Only do this one if you know she’s not very self-conscious and you actually love her body. If she is overweight and self-conscious for example, you saying “Your body is hot as fuck” will only be perceived as a lie and incongruent within her reality.

  It goes without saying to never overuse compliments, they will lose their effectiveness and she will perceive your use of them to be inauthentic. It’s no longer about you appreciating her body, but only trying to get a response out of her as if she were an orgasmic robot in a video game.

  Calibration

  As discussed in nearly every sex book on the planet, different women like different things. It goes without saying that not all women then will like your dirty talk. A woman’s mood and preferences must be taken into consideration if you want effective use of your bedroom language.

  The most important thing is to pay attention. Simple as that. Honing adept awareness allows you to adjust your dirty talk efficiently. Get a sense for what type of dirty talk your lady (or ladies) likes and how far she is willing to go right now by paying attention to her verbal and nonverbal signals.

  5 Keys to Successful Calibration

  1] Use Language You Are Comfortable With Then Work Your Way to Dirtier Language

  The key is to use language that is congruent for you AND that she responds to. Sometimes both of those are mutually exclusive. If you read something that sounds like something you wouldn't say (and she knows it) then rephrase it to the language you use. However, don’t puss out and not experiment with dirtier words at all.

  You can add in more explicit words once you gain more confidence as your beliefs change. You can always work up to being more explicit. Never be afraid to try out a new word in fear of it backfiring. The only way out of situations like that is to go through them and learn from your mistakes.

  2] Some Like It Sweet, Some Like It Filthier

  How can you tell? First, give her commands and gauge her response. If she follows your commands and acts submissively without any verbal or nonverbal disagreement then you can try dirtier language as she becomes more aroused. Also, pay attention to the words she uses and say them back to her.

  3] Start Slow and Get Dirtier as She Becomes More Aroused

  Begin slowly and gradually build her sexual arousal using anticipation and teasing. Start with just sensual descriptions. As her arousal and sexual tension increases, slightly ramp up to dirtier words and phrases. You can say anything you like honestly, just make sure it is with a confident tone. Keep in mind that your idea of dirty may be filthier than hers though. If she doesn’t respond to your filthier language, it doesn’t mean she hates it. She could be uncomfortable saying those words out loud or your timing was off (meaning you didn’t match your language to her level of arousal).

  Right before she has an orgasm is when she is most receptive to the dirtiest words. That pre-orgasmic trance is a wonderful place, and dirty talk is steroids for it. That space is useful in many ways. We will explore how to leverage it later. Pre/peri-orgasm is your chance to drop the dirtiest bombs you have to make her explode in ecstasy…the dirtier the better for most women.

  If you feel really uncomfortable with verbal interactions then start with sending text messages or emails to her about what you plan to do to her the next time you see her. Begin with sensual descriptions as she is probably not ready for the dirtier messages just yet.

  To be honest, the dirty talk continuum of sweet to neutral to nasty does not exist. You can modulate your vocal tonality to have the intention of “dirty” as you say something “sweet” or vice versa. It all depends on your intention and voice tonality. Given that, our brains do tend to associate (or default to a certain interpretation) certain words and phrases as “sweet” or “nasty.”

  4] Utilize Variety

  Hopefully, you don’t have sex the exact same way every time or do the same positions/acts. Hopefully you change things up and know dirty talking is not excluded from this unspoken rule.

  Change up how often you talk dirty, when you talk dirty, and how dirty your language is. Sometimes whisper sweetness in her ear and other times dominate her while giving your dirtiest. There is no secret here; you just have to try things out. Bomb and recover well. Learn from your mistakes and you will learn how to mix things up in ways that powerfully stimulate her with your flavors of dirty talk.

  5] Pay Attention to Her Signals to Interpret Them

  Pay attention to how she responds, especially if you haven’t done this before. If she ups the filth, you know that you can as well. If she is more conservative with her sounds and gestures, then most likely that is what she is comfortable with at the moment. Often, women aren’t direct about what they like and dislike in bed, so that is why paying attention to her sounds and gestures is crucial.

  Remember that she is on your team and not going to hold grudge if your dirty talk is a bit rusty in the beginning. At all times, you need to make a note of what arouses her and what doesn’t, hence the importance of paying attention. You want your words to have a blissfully arousing effect on her.

  Don’t Forget:

  Your Delivery, Voice Tone, and Intention(s) Hold More Value To Her Than Your Actual Words

  Calibration Signals: The Short Version

  You have verbal and nonverbal signals of hers to look out for:

   Sounds (moans, groans, murmurs, etc.)

   Vocal insinuations (she stresses/places emphasis on certain words or phrases)

   Body language (pronounced body arching, muscle tension, grabbing/clawing you, etc.)

   Vocal tone

   Absence of sou
nds/verbal communication

   Lack of “positive” body language

   Hesitation

   Topic avoidance (E.g. her not answering your dirty talk questions)

   Changing the subject

  Pay attention to her responses to:

   Certain Phrases

   Certain Words

   Different Levels of Explicitness

   Dirty Names

  If she moans louder, smiles, nods, or eagerly does what she is told, or sends you a filthy text message/email then your dirty talk is effective for her. Reluctant replies, topic changes, unenthusiastic, or perplexed looks means you are on the wrong track and need to calibrate. Try something different, or tone it down. NEVER push her beyond what is enjoyable to her or you will cause her to associate negative sexual emotions with you. You will then wonder why the sex has tapered off.