Orgasmic Dirty Talk Read online

  Here are the things you should be looking for…

  Calibration Signals: The Long Version

  Verbal Signals

  1] She Mentions Her Likes/ Dislikes

  This one is self-evident.

  2] Pacing and Leading Her Language Cues

  Pace her language and pace her language/voice patterns. If she’s talking slow and sensual or very filthy, follow suit and then lead her into the voice tempo or type of dirty talk you want.

  Listen to the language and certain phrases/words she uses and then match the tone/enthusiasm of your voice to hers. If she calls herself your “dirty little cum slut” you can be sure that she won’t mind you calling her that. A lot of times, she will go along with whatever you say if she can feel your confidence through your language. Gather tiny clues from her and use them to massage her mind with your words.

  NOTE: she may not voice her dirtier language unless you do (she is following your lead), so pace her language only for a bit and then just lead her into the direction you want while taking her attitude/happiness into account.

  3] Groans, grunts, moans, and murmurs

  These are always good. When was the last time you heard a “bad” moan during sex? The volume and intensity of the moan is a good rule of thumb for knowing how turned on she is. Oftentimes, her moans/sounds are subtle and deliberately well-placed, so pay close attention to these, they are blatant signals.

  NOTE: Her responses to your words are often heavily influenced by how congruent your words are with your beliefs and behaviors. Your dirty talk will have little to no effect if you have low self-esteem or confidence. I want you to burn that into your memory.

  4] Things Left Unsaid/Unspoken

  These are just as important as what she says/moans. The absence of her discontentment does not mean discontent (to your words) is absent. Women often won’t tell you they dislike something in fear of appearing rude or disrupting the mood. If it isn’t painful or too uncomfortable, they will often leave it unsaid.

  So her lack of enthusiasm or silence is a way she can signal her discontent without upsetting your ego. She doesn’t want to take the chance of discouraging you from trying dirty talk again by making you think she isn’t enjoying it, so she remains silent. Isn’t she a good girl?

  In short, pay attention to what isn’t being said or getting a response. Be sure to factor in your lady’s temperament. For example if she’s not very talkative outside or inside the bedroom, then you need to focus more on nonverbal cues, but if you do get a verbal cue then it most likely means she is really enjoying herself.

  Nonverbal Signals

  Body language during sex is more pronounced and exaggerated due to her wanting to consciously show her enjoyment (or discontent.) It is an attempt on her part to make you aware of how something is making her feel.

  1] Neutral Expressions

  Neutral expressions of any kind could potentially be a false negative or positive. Steer clear of using them as an indicator for her enjoying your flavor of dirty talk at that moment.

  2] Facial Expressions

  A genuine smile, grin, mischievous look, or wide and excited eyes all signal her enjoyment. A furrowed brow, raised eyebrow, a snarl, or tight lips signal her dislike. Of course this list of positive and negative expressions is not exhaustive.

  When she is silent, facial expressions are your best friend for knowing whether she is liking your language or not.

  3] Breathing

  If her breathing suddenly quickens and she writhes against you, keep those words flowing! If her breathing deepens, it could mean what you said deeply relaxed or aroused her. Any change in breathing is usually positive.

  4] Muscle Tension

  If she stiffens up, recoils away from you, gives you a cutting sideways glance, then she doesn’t like what you are saying. Muscle tension combined with facial expressions will give you a better indicator of whether she likes or likes your dirty talk. Using more than one form of body language to calibrate your dirty talk is best, as it gives you more confidence in knowing you are right about her enjoyment of lack thereof. The better you know her, the better you can tailor your dirty talk.

  Getting Her To Talk Dirty

  A lot of times, you will be saying sensual and dirty things to her and she’s not verbally responding. It’s possible she is enjoying it, but maybe it hasn’t crossed her mind to get involved. To be honest, I don’t care if a woman talks dirty to me, since I approach dirty talk from the frame of “dirty talk is for leading her mind.” Not her mouth. However, some of you might want to hear her speak delicious filth to you.

  It’s simple: You get her to talk dirty using commands and assertive questioning.

  For example:

  “You like it when I […]”

  “That feels good doesn’t it?”

  “Do you want me inside you?”

  “I own that slut pussy…you’re my slutty girl aren’t you?”

  “Tell me you’re my dirty slut”

  “Spread your legs, and beg me to fuck you”

  “Talk to me, tell me how good you feel”

  To get her on a dirty talking roll, ask her a bunch of questions that require “yes” answers like the first three examples above.

  Another thing to consider is to make sure that you tell her how much it turns you on when she said [something dirty] to you. Don’t worry too much about getting her to talk dirty. Drop your inhibitions, talk dirty to her and she will follow your lead and open up to talking dirty as she gets more comfortable with it.

  Using Role-play to Ease Into Dirtier Language

  Designing a role-play or leveraging one of her fantasies is a great way to introduce her to dirtier talk if you are hesitant. I wouldn’t normally recommend using role-playing as a cover like this, but I know somebody somewhere might need it. The ironic thing is that if you have never done role-play, that will be an even bigger leap than dirty talk and you would be better off suffering through the minor discomfort that comes with the exploration of unfamiliar territory.

  I’m a fan of experiments. I drop a dirty talk bomb and wait for the consequences because I feel confident that I can handle them. But if you don’t feel the same, use role-playing as training wheels until you can call her your “cum slut” without internally flinching.

  The best way of using the “role-play training wheels” idea is to ask her if she has any favorite erotica authors and then go research what that author writes or pick a scene to act out from one of the author’s books. If she says she doesn’t read erotica, then here is a short list of “safe” role-plays you can use to introduce her to filthier language. After all, you’re calling Susan the college girl a “cum slut” who has a “fuck hole”, not her…right?

   College girl and Professor

   Prostitute and Client

   Sex with a Stranger

   Boss and Employee

   Personal Trainer and Client

   Bad cop and Perpetrator

  Really get into the role-play. Change your identities/names/voices, dress the part, get her a wig, etc.

  Improve Your Voice

  If your voice is to lead her mind, it needs a deep, resonant tonality. A relaxing, commanding, and deep voice lubricates your words and allows them to slip right into her mind without struggle. She will accept what you are saying with greater ease due to increased perception of you as a sexually confident man.

  A squeaky or nasally voice does not convey a powerful commanding presence and your words will be deflated of any potential power they hold. You want your voice to sound smooth, deep, and rich…resonant. If you were to sound out your vowels and “hold the note” so to speak, where do you feel the physical vibration?

  If you have poor resonance, you will feel the vibration in only your throat (or nose/soft palate). Try “moving” the vibration down to your chest. Place your hand there. This is what a voice that is resonant and assertive sounds like. Your chest and throat should be resonating.
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  Practice feeling the difference in throat only vibration versus chest and throat vibration. Practice speaking with this new-found resonance.

  Improve Your Vocabulary

  Another thing is that having an extensive vocabulary and an ability to describe things in vivid detail will set you miles apart from most guys let alone making your calibration easier by being able to adapt to her mood and preferences. A larger vocabulary is very useful for narrating fantasies to her.

  Try these when narrating fantasies or when your old standby’s become overused:

  Verbs

  Bite, suck, touch, play, caress, trail

  Kiss, caress, nibble, tease, grind,

  Push, pull, brush, taste, rub, stick, jam, blow

  Squeeze, grab, spank, drink, thrust, plow, fondle

  Slightly Filthier Words

  Hard, big, wet, soft, sopping, soaking

  Sweet, slippery, moist, greedy, hungry

  Aching, gorgeous, lovely, hot

  Tasty, juicy, firm, supple

  Wild, tight, huge, erect, naked

  Bare, throbbing, strong, swollen, gentle, stiff, raging

  The Flavors of Dirty Talk

   Give Her Commands/Tell Her What You Want

   Reading Erotica to Her

   Compliments and Praising Her Body

   Sensual Descriptions That Lead to Dirtier Descriptions

   Describe What You Are Doing to Her in Vivid Detail As You Do It

   Tell Her What She is Feeling As You Stimulate Her

   Assertive Questions

  Base your “harshness” of dirty talk on her arousal level. The greater her arousal, the dirtier your words can be. Start slow with sensual descriptions of her body, how she is feeling, romantic talk, etc. Allow your words to become more sexualized as she gets more turned on. In short, get dirtier with your language as her arousal increases.

  Women will respond with sexual eagerness to filthy words and behaviors during sex, you just have to know her TYPE of filth and/or know how to PRESENT “filth” with proper conviction. That’s why you always match your dirty talk to her level of arousal, at least until you can better control her arousal by maintaining a strong and assertive mentality.

  Dirty Talk: A Philosophical Inquiry

  Good dirty talk begins with asking yourself the right questions at the right time.

  Why are you saying what you are saying? What is your purpose behind it? What experience are you looking to give her with your words?

  Before seeking to memorize phrases, ask yourself these questions and convey the answers to her with vivid multi-sensory detail:

   What do you want to do to her?

   How would you do it?

   What would you make her do?

   How would you make her beg for it?

   What would she feel when you [insert stimulation]?

   How would she feel it?

  Use questions like the above to evoke great dirty talk and don’t pay too much attention to the phrases I will list for you later on.

  This is far more useful rather than reading blurbs instructing you to fill in the blanks like “You want me to [kiss, lick, suck, stroke your [Adjective] [Genitals]”

  Ask yourself what you want her to experience, when you want her to experience, and how. Your mindset and intentions place volumes of words and phrases at your dispersal if you have internalized empowering beliefs (sexual and otherwise).

  How to Say Your Dirtiness

  Let’s start this section off with three important principles. Let them form the foundation of your “how to say it” knowledge and its application.

  1] The more detailed and passionate your language is, the greater the effect it has on her. However, dirty talk isn't so much about words as conveying your lust or passion to her and allowing her to fully express her own. You want her to feel how you feel and/or amplify her own feelings. Whatever you feel, she feels.

  2] The extent of your dirty talk effectiveness is contingent upon your language vividness, the power of the emphasis behind it, your ability to lead her, and your frame of sexual assertion. Wield your deft and assertive tongue for good! Let all of your dirty talk come from a place of authenticity, integrity, and consideration for her needs (sexual and otherwise).

  3] Focus on how much you enjoy her and her body. Focus on how your body feels when she touches you and how aroused you get when she pleasures you. Let the foundations of your words be genuine FEELING. Feel your words as you say them to the fullest extent you can. Words packed with congruent emotions behind them come across as much more powerful to her.

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  Dirty talk is only limited by your imagination and vocabulary. HOW you say what you say is limited only by your level of emotional restraint when it comes to expressing your pleasure and leading her amidst her own. Letting sexual assertion and your own pleasure (as well as a focus on hers) be the driving force behind your voice, everything you say will have an impact on her because it is in its most arousing form.

  Your tonality is very important in conveying sexual assertion to her. Tonality conveys your emotions and you can use this fact to your advantage during sex. The emphasis you place on your tonality is gets her pussy tingling.

  Humans tend to use three forms of tonality: permissive, neutral, and authoritative. Permissive is how we ask questions, and tonality tends to take on a higher pitch. Asking a question (without dominance behind it) is asking for permission. Asking a question means the other person has influence in your decision-making and potential actions. Permission is necessary for you to continue beyond the question basically. Rarely use this tone of voice when talking dirty to your woman, it is not perceived as sexually confident.

  Ask your questions with a dominant tone of voice, with a tone of you being secure in your knowledge of her enjoyment. For example, “You like that, don’t you?” said with an assertive tone of voice sounds different than “You like that?” The latter has the potential to sound like a man who is afraid of his woman while the former leaves no room for fear. A dominant tone of voice gets perceived by her as a command to respond to you rather than the approval seeking permissive tone. A permissive tone conveys that you recognize her as the power of authority.

  If you are leading the sexual dance, you are the power of authority…why are you trying to confuse her by giving up that wonderful responsibility. Strap in and fucking lead! The more you assert yourself and lead, the easier it gets.

  Neutral is when our voice lacks an authoritative or permissive tone. It comes in handy when you need to break her “sexual trance.” Stick with the assertive/dominant voice tone for most of your dirty talk because a monotonous voice is boring.

  Your dominant tone of voice leads her mind to focus on her sensations and emotions. Her emotions and what she feels via sensations are sexual rocket fuel. Direct her mind to them, over and over.

  You only want to use the assertive questioning and confident-commanding-conviction tonalities.

  Questions aren’t stated as “questions” they are stated with absolute conviction. You are essentially conveying your dominance in the form of a question. Don’t ASK her questions, TELL her questions. She wants to feel your power. She wants YOU to feel your power.

  BASICS APPLICATION

  5 Levels of Dirty Talk

  If dirty talk were to be stratified and presented on different levels, it would look something like this:

  Level 1: Sounds (roars, growls, heavy breathing, moans, grunts, groans, gasps, animal sounds, etc.)

  Level 2: Romantic (“It feels good to be this close to you baby”)

  Level 3: Sensually Descriptive (“I want to slide deeeeep in-between your moist, throbbing walls.”)

  Level 4: Narrated Fantasies (get her to reveal her deepest fantasies and then create a narrative about them)

  Level 5: Hardcore Dirty Talk (“Make that dick cum inside that slut pussy”)

  It is fun to utilize all five levels during one se
ssion, ending with explosive level five dirty talk.

  If you are starting off slow and sensual it makes sense to pace your language accordingly and begin with level one. If you are both heavily aroused already start at level five and work your way down (or stay at level 5), using levels one and two during the aftercare/pillow-talk. Jump between levels two/three to level five for highly arousing contrast.

  For casual sex, I stick with levels one, three, and five unless I’m turning it something more. This can be an implicit way of managing her expectations. During relationships I use all levels of dirty talk.

  Types of Dirty Talk Language Structures

  Inherent in our language are certain structures. Dirty talk is nearly a language of its own and has certain language patterns as well. You can use these patterns to massage a woman’s mind and make her crave release only you can give.